not surprising that Todd sent me this :)
NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN
Depressed? Overworked? Job Suck? Unappreciated? Family Problems? Money Worries? Well, here is the pill for you! Fukitol 1000mg When life just blows...Fukitol
DAMNITOL -Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.
EMPTYNESTROGEN -Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out!
ST. MOMMA'S WORT -Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.
PEPTOBIMBO - Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.
DUMBEROL -When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.
FLIPITOR - Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
MENICILLIN -Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, 'You make me want to be a better person. '
BUYAGRA - Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.
JACKASSPIRIN - Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat
ANTI-TALKSIDENT - A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.
NAGAMENT - When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him, without opening your mouth.
3 comments:
I won't tell you which ones I should be taking :)
LOL! Umm, Sounds like I should be a drug addict! :-D
LOL, where do I go to get those prescriptions filled?
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